Shitty vs The Shit

Self worth.

Do you have it?

I've been focusing on personal development a lot lately- and a recurring theme has been the notion of value. Or the measure of worth each individual designates a certain person, object, or thing.

Of special interest, is how each person measures their own worth. In a process of constant self appraisal and accreditation.

Aside from possessing materials of monetary value, one must personify qualities of high value- that vary in appearance. There is honesty. And intelligence. Humbleness. And beauty. Or my personal favorite- generosity. Each person dances to the beat of their own drum, and worships their own idol.

Still, at the very crux of it-- lies a similar group of people searching for personal fulfillment and gratification. Think about it.. We try to turn other people on (some relying on their looks, others their wit), when in reality, we are just trying to get ourselves off. Or our ego off- in an attempt to gain validation and self acceptance.

It's the concept of the "Looking Glass Self," as described by sociologists Cooley and Mead. Here, we see in others what we want to emulate ourselves, and like a glass mirror, we actively seek to embody these characteristics on our own.

What is most interesting to me, is how in the process of a solidifying our identities, we are influenced by the forces in our environment.. Whether it be by our peers, or the standards each of us are expected to uphold, as dignified members of this organized society.

As a consequence of these 'forces,' many people fail to develop their own belief systems, values, and logic. Instead-- they are either too lazy, or are merely satisfied with living an uninspired, mundane existence (where one can avoid thinking for himself completely, and then be rewarded for such ignorance).

Be that as it may, I just cannot accept this lackluster logic. Or swallow this pill of complacency. Why should Person A give Person B the power to measure their self worth? Or influence it, rather.

It goes back to the good girls falling for bad boys effect-- where women feel like they can be the ones to change the emotionally unavailable bachelor, or at least make him fall in love with them. After which point when it doesn't, which is the case 99.9% of the time, they wonder why they feel so bad about themselves.

If women and men stopped searching for the approval of others-- and started looking within and acknowledging themselves, then the world would be a much more forgiving place (and unique).

My advice?

Wear that smile confidently, knowing that you are a bonafide BADASS in your own right. Take the time to do nice things for yourself, because you are exceptional and deserve to be treated as such. Draw yourself a hot bath, or pop that last cube of chocolate in your mouth, simply because you deserve it. Surround yourself with people that love and make you feel good, so you can love and make them feel good back in a positive and fulfilling way. Find out what turns you on, and do it once a day.. as you are in a lifelong relationship with yourself.

And if you want me to simplify it even further:

Stop feeling shitty, and start viewing yourself as 'the shit'.
Because you are, and that's a fact.